The duality of Life
A Sea of Decisions, Doubt, and Deep Trust
As I transitioned into adulthood, I began to question the meaning of life. For the first time, I felt lost—without direction, without big plans—afraid of everything, including applying for jobs or interacting with people.
Yet, despite this fear, there was a quiet voice within me that knew there was more to life. It urged me to explore beyond the limits of my comfort zone.
Living in a State of Inner Conflict
Most of the time, I lived in a state of duality:
one part of me was filled with fear and doubt.
Another part remained hopeful and believed that everything would eventually be okay.
Making big decisions was never easy. As a child, I was obedient and always listened to my parents. This shaped a deeply conditioned sense of autonomy. My choices were always “safe,” aligned with what I believed was allowed.
Playing it safe became an unconscious way of protecting myself.
By constantly thinking of others and prioritizing their needs over mine, I began to disconnect from myself and from my intuition.
The more I lost touch with who I was and what I needed, the more my fear of self-expression grew—alongside my fear of making decisions.
Stepping into adulthood only magnified that fear.
Being an adult means making choices, and though I was grown by age, inside I felt like a scared child. It’s hard to admit this, but it was my truth.
Reaching a Crossroads
That truth only became clear later in life—when I reached a turning point:
Would I live the life I deeply craved, or continue living in fear and insecurity?
I lacked the tools and support to take charge of my life, so all I could do was wait and pray.
Deep inside, I knew I needed something greater than myself to intervene. My mind was too limited to see the way forward. So I surrendered—to a Higher Power.
I held onto the belief that something would shift—that life would show me the way.
In the meantime, I kept reading, listening to podcasts, and doing whatever I could to understand myself and open my heart and mind.
Slowly—very slowly—my awareness began to expand.
At first, the insights were only intellectual. I understood the concepts, but I couldn’t feel them in my body. Even though I sensed inner power growing, I still struggled to apply it.
We Are Always Guided
Then, the miracle happened — in a magical way (more on that in another story).
I decided to move abroad.
It felt magical because it happened with ease. I wasn’t good at making decisions—but when it came to love, that was different. Love had always been my deepest drive: to find it and to be loved in return.
I moved abroad from one day to the next. It felt right, so I followed it without hesitation.
That decision was life-defining. I needed distance from my old life and its limiting beliefs. I needed new perspectives — a new world — and the openness to receive it.
Looking back, it fills me with faith.
It confirms what I now believe with all my heart:
We are always guided. We are never alone — even when it feels like we are.
What is meant for you will never pass you by.
Let’s bring back our faith and patience.
Trust that life will unfold in the right way, at the right time.
And no – it’s not just about positive thinking. It’s about connecting with something higher.
Even when we don’t feel safe in our bodies, we can still create an inner sense of safety by trusting and allowing ourselves to be guided.
Listen to Your Inner Wisdom
Disconnect from the chatter of your mind and tap into your senses.
What is your heart telling you?
We cannot control when or how life will unfold.
The best we can do is surrender.
There is a higher order, a greater consciousness that ensures each of us receives what is meant for us—when we are ready.
Forcing things only delays the process.
Accept your current reality as it is, and fuel your dreams and desires with love.
You are being guided. Trust your path.
If this spoke to you, you might also enjoy The Power of Inner Transformation.